Tawanda Blake

I don’t typically use my site for blogging because, um, number #1, I don’t think I get enough traffic from people that really want to know what I have to say. And #2, who really cares, right?

LOL… Check this out:

Some of you meandering across this page could very well be Friends, Family Members, Face Book Friends, Fri-enemies, Old lovers, Nosey- Rosies, and others that are complete strangers who might be a little curious. You know, it’s a plethora of folks. I don’t know who fits this particular shoe of being a single parent, but if the shoe (Insert size here) fits, then wear it.

I have 5 kids, living under one roof full-time—all the time. I provide for a couple others in this grand scheme of “who, what, when and where,”  just so’s ya know. "No," they aren't with me because this is the "I feel I'm grown," bunch. You gotta cut the cord when they get older than you(Side eye glare).

Here’s my love song:

My sister died  in March of 2013. Now, let me tell you that my sister was everything to me. Good gosh, I loved my sister. It just hurt. Losing her, hurt.  The morning that she died, I wore my superwoman cape and drove down, scooped her kids up, and brought them back to Charlotte to live with me and my kids… Me, a single mother, with  4 kids, already.  Sounds easy, right? Hell to- the- no… It has been one of the most blustery chain of events that I have ever endured in my life. For starters, I didn't grieve the way that I needed to.  I just jumped right into motherhood x 2 with all that I had to give, and the only thing that I had to give was love, lots of talks, and a positive perspective. Kids will be kids and that is exactly what they were doing. Lol… They did the things that I am still shocked about till this day, including my own. I am a new grandmother. No, I wasn't happy about it. Hell, no! But, I have grown to accept it. Life just is. It wasn’t easy. It’s not easy. My life is good, but it is far from easy.
In the beginning, my weeks were going like this:

House full of kids, arguing, bickering fighting.

School calls every other day

Court visits every other week

Social Service visits

Go to work

Write

I’m so pissed I can’t sleep…

Rest when the house is empty(Almost non-existent)

Someone wore someone else’s shirt.

Oh great, so he went to jail because of what?

He got put out of school for fighting who?

You mean to tell me that she’s pregnant?

Did he really throw that tantrum?

Did you just slap her?

Did you say a dirty word?.

I hate everybody!

Parent Teacher Meeting.

Parent Teacher Meeting.

Parent Teacher Phone Conference.

He got put off the bus for what!?

She got kicked off the bus for what!?

He drank all the juice?

What happened to the water?

He cursed who out?

Who the hell ate all the Pop Tarts?

Wonk, Wonk, Wonk, Wonk, Wonk! The noise of chaos clatter like kitchen utensils and dishes on the floor shattered to pieces. We haven’t even begun to get into my personal life. That’s it… This is what brings me here. I was always proud to be a single mom. Of course,  I’m still proud that I can carry a torch at all because sometimes things can get hectic rather quickly. I am accused of being fake, or too damn happy all the time. I am neither of the two. I decided a long time ago that I decide who gets my anger. I am in charge of my dirty laundry... I have control of my emotions most of  the time. I decided how my day was going to be last week...  I am successful in my own rights. You don’t have to congratulate me because I congratulate my damn self!  I won't lie. It is hard as shit to keep things in order. I do what I can with what I have, in my means.

I often wonder if life would be this busy if I were married. Would my son still have fathered a daughter if he had a positive male role model? And now that he has, will he be better than his dad ever was, considering that he too, was raised in the same single parent environment. Would the kids be more obedient to my husband, or would they make him crash and burn? They are a lot better(I do get phone calls, but not as often). I believe that although a mother is a mother/aunt/grandmother/ friend/sister, she is still a nurturer.  We are soft  when we should bang the gavel and say, “enough! It’s time for tough love!” A father is the head of the household, and he is respected like the great “Goliath.” He is benevolent, and he is also sovereign. He’s gonna make the difficult decisions that we as mothers shy away from. Yes, we can punish our kids and then let them off punishment early because we feel sorry for them, whereas dear old dad isn't tolerating it, not one bit. I have(Had--depends on the day) a male friend that’s always preaching about how broken families are, and how and we need to get our families back… he, although I won’t even feed his ego to his face, is somewhat right. Back in the day there was less killing. Kids fought. They planned a good beat down that was fair, and they didn't use weapons at all. I give credit to the older generation for that. No, not because of the street brawls. I give credit because they raised their families on morals, respect, love, academics, and integrity. You may not be accountable as much to mom, but dad is gonna make your ass stack bricks on the side of the house, or lay you out-flat. It's gonna be one or the other. We don’t do those things anymore. Discipline is now, what?? If a kid breaks into a car, some moms are screaming , “he’s innocent!”  WTF? No he isn't… You know he isn't innocent. WE KNOW OUR KIDS. Enough of the domino effect. Ladies, and dads(single parent),  we need to break this generational curse. Yes, we can raise kids by ourselves. Yes! Yes! Yes! We can be great.  We are great! Some don’t have as many problems as others, and some don’t have problems at all.  I think that we can be more successful with, husband and wife raising a family.  That’s my opinion, and I am sticking to it.

 I know that marriage is a lot of work, but so is raising a family alone. We are successful, but how far does that really go?
I thought about it before I added this to my site... Who pays attention to what I have to say, anyway?